Category: Parent Talk
My daughter is going to be 2 years old in a few months. She only says a few words and would rather scream at me then learn to communicate even just a little. I know part of this is her age, but I also know a lot of it has to do with the fact that she's stubborn. I've done some inquiring about how to get help with her speech, and I was told to get her signed up with alta regional, which is a program for disabled people, or so I believe. I'm unsure and very nervous, because Chloe is not disabled, and I don't trust some of these organizations because some people try and run your life, especially if you are a blind parent. I also heard of this dvd set that's called pree school prep that I thought of trying, along with other things, but I'm not sure what to go with, or if I'm worrying over nothing. If anyone has any ideas. please help.
Hmm.. it sounds frustrating, but you're right.. your daughter is still too young. She's still learning the ways of the world. I think you should at least feel somewhat comforted by the fact that she can at least communicate some. Just be patient with her and don't force her to do anything yet.. as I said before she's still a bit too young, and I'm sure you know every child is different and learns on his/her own time. You can still encourage her to learn by talking to her and teaching her new words or even trying out those DVD programs that you mentioned. I'm pretty sure they won't hurt as long as you're patient and don't overdo it to the point of frustration for the two of you. Perhaps you could also offer her a reward every time you see her making progress. If you still feel anxious about it or continue to have problems later on you can talk to her pediatrician and get some professional suggestions.
Anyway.. I hope this helps some.. I'm not a parent myself quite yet but will be in a couple of weeks and can't wait..
Good luck with everything, and just try to remember that the learning process shouldn't be frustrating if you try to make it fun.
Best wishes
when will she be two?
The guideline (and I am not a fan of guidelines but this one is not a bad thing) is that a child should have a vocabulary of twenty words by the time they are two. Think about it:
mummy, daddy, chloe, hello, bye, please, thank you (or ta, whatever your preference), yes, no, drink, biscuit, want, bear, night-night, cuddle, cold, sleep, doggy, bus, kitty...
not many is it?
And how many months is "a few months"? because while a few months is not much to you or i, to a baby it's a long time, and it's a long time in a child's development.
Rather than being concerned over her speach there are other factors you can take into account. Does she communicate in other ways? Can she point to what she wants? Does she understand instruction? If so it's unlikely you have anything to worry about, she is just a baby still, and speach will come. If she reaches her 2nd birthday with no words then you might seek a referral to a speach and language therapist, but in the meantime I would just relax.
She says a few words, but two are the only ones that are constant. She will be 2 in october. She understands a grate deal, and she can point at things. But I can't see her point, and when I try to help her, she gets frustrated and throws a temper tantrum. Her ability to understand is wonderful though. Thanks for your suggestions, I really appreciate them.
Frustration is perfectly normal. One of the main triggers of two year old tantrums is frustration at not being able to communicate. There is a direct corollation between speach and tantrums.
I am on my phone ATM but I will post some suggestions for you later.
ok, here I am as promised and able to type more coherently.
As I said in my post above, one of the main contributors to tantrums in toddlers is frustration at the inability to communicate. And it works both ways: toddler wants something so tries to tell mummy what that something is. But mummy doesn't understand so becomes frustrated that the toddler can't communicate, and the toddler in turn becomes frustrated at the fact that mummy cannot understand what it is she wants, and because she can't express her frustration in any other way, she has a tantrum.
So what you need to do is to open different avenues of communication up to her.
At present, she cannot communicate her wishes verbally, but she has understanding, so you can use that, and build on it.
And one of the best ways you can do that is through choice.
so - if she wants something then ask her what she wants. If she cannot tell you then give her the choice. "a drink? a biscuit? the toy train on the cupboard?"... depending on where her attention is focused. If she has the level of understanding to know what she wants, then she will be able to confirm either way.
And it's important to ignore the negatives and reward the positives... so - "you want a drink?" might be met with a scream, in which case you ignore that and move on, "you want a biscuit?" until you get to what it is she's trying to communicate. And when she's communicated that effectively, i.e. she will stop screaming and be happy that you've finally worked out what it is she wants, then you positively reinforce that, "oh good, mummy will get you a biscuit, mmm nice biscuit." It can make you lose the will to live, but it's ultimately about working out an effective way to communicate until the verbal skills come, and they will come. The more you talk to her, and verbally reinforce what she cannot, the more she will build on that and ultimately develop the verbal skills to communicate well.
And when it all gets too much count to ten and utter the words "it's just a phase, this will pass."
hth.
My daughter will be 2 in November. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. This is definitely a phase and what happens at this age. My daughter can say several words, but it doesn't mean that the miscommunications don't happen. Claire gave some wonderful advice above. The one thing I wanted to add, besides that you aren't alone, is to read to your daughter. I spend about an hour through out the day reading to my daughter. She has picked up several words from her books. I play the what's that game with her also. It gets annoying at times when she does it back to me, but it's also a lot of fun. I will tell her what something in her book is, and then go back and point it out and ask her "what's that" if she gets it, I praise her. if she doesn't get it, i tell her again what it is.
If you need a place to get books. www.seedlings.org and www.nbp.org are wonderful places. they have print/braille books.
One struggle that I have is that my daughter uses one word that means different things to her. For instance all drinks are called milk to her. her feet, socks, and shoes are all called feet. things like this. She has finally learned to say water, so that is helping distinguish what type of drink she wants.
Another thing is just talk to her like you would any other person. what i mean is don't use baby talk. do simple things like walk around your house pointing out things and saying the words to her, ie wall, floor, door, window, bed... go outside and do the same thing. you can talk to your daughter and say show mommy what you want. she won't understand it at first, but it is how she will learn. demonstrate to her. if she wants her cup take her hand and put it on the cup and say show me the cup. by you taking her hands and putting it on the object, she will learn to do the same to you.
another way to build vocab and to teach her to show you things is to take her hand and point out her and your body parts. i've done this with my daughter for months and she will touch my nose and say nose and she will take my hand and put it on her belly and say belly. i learned to be very hands on with her, so that she would learn to do the same with me.
i'll stop rambling now. i hope some of this helps.
Thank you very much. These suggestions are much appreciated and have made me feel loads better. smiles. I will try these things with the hope that Chloe will progress. It's wonderful to have other people who have experienced similar things and have feedback. It helps. Thanks again.
I would echo what pippy has said wrt reading.
would also say to ignore peoples' comments, as people often judge based on their own experiences, when the reality is that every child is different and develops at their own rate.
So just because baby x talked at a year and baby y was talking in sentences by the time he could walk doesn't mean that all babies will do that.
I love the suggestions here. Also don't forget to simply give her your hand and tell her to show you what she wants. She'll get use to knowing that you need to see it with your hands. Now that won't work with some things, but mostly if she takes you say to the door you'll know she wants to go out, or something outside. The kitchen. I agree she'll talk when she talks.
I don't expect full sentences out of her, just simply to try and say small words. She's progressing a little, and for that I am grateful. smiles.
Trust me you'll be "not expecting full sentences out of her" Lol Shut up girl! I don't want to hear it! hahaha
I know that. I said that already. And don't tell me to shut up. lol. Anyway, I just want Chloe to progress a little more, and she's showing sighns of doing just that. So, that's good. I'm happy.
I agree with everything above, well except for the whole shut up thing. Although I Think the person that said it may have been messing around. Anyway, definitely the reading factor is important. I read to kid hwen i volunteered at a daycare center. One child had a speech problem and it helped her improve her speech and talk more. I treated her just like everyone else with certain allowances for certain situations and it paid off. Mostly I was just patient with her and it paid off.
no need to be so up tight; I'm pretty sure the person telling you to shut up was just kidding.
I think Chloe is progressing a little bit. There is a family across the way, with a daughter who is only 3 months older than Chloe. They've been playing together off and on, and Chloe is trying to say things. I have found that if Chloe says something, even if I don't understand it, I use my senses to figure out what she has said and confirm it for her, so she learns to say it clearer, but at the same time, letting her know that she is on the right track and I'm proud of her. She claps her little hands and grins. And to me, I'm learning, if she's proud of herself and feels good about her progress, it makes me feel more at ease. Thank you all for your posative suggestions. I'm going to get books to read to her, and try and get a few things that help her out a bit. Now, if I can only understand why this lovely child of mine is intrigued with wiring and how I get the sneaky suspition that my payback is coming. Seeing as I think she's going to be the type of person who is going to want to know how things work on a deeper level than curiosity. If she can sit for a half hour and watch a couple of guys put fiboroptic cables into a man hole and totally be drawn by that, I've got my work cut out for me! lol. You go, Chloe! Just no explosions in the house when you are older! lmao.
Oh, and, until then, no getting too curious. smiles.
Aloha! How is she doing with talking now? I'm just curious and wanted to check in. I hope you guys have a good week.
I'm afraid I'm kind of pressed for time as far as reading all posts, but based on experience each child is different. Is there one word in particular Chloe focuses on, like evidently mine was 'cat' and Mimi's was 'ball'? Now my landlord didn't start talking until he was 3, but his speech is perfectly normal. Sometimes late talking is a warning for dyslexia, but there are more, I believe at least six characteristics must be noted for this diagnosis, not just one. When she's ready, she'll take off & you'll be posting wondering how to get her quiet. I wouldn't worry too much at this stage of her development.
She says a few words a lot, but her two favorite words are hi and bye